


The Perks of Living Alone vs. with Another

by Zinro



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Brief Homelessness, Fluff, Humor, Hungover, M/M, Romance, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Teasing, Zero | Niles being Zero | Niles, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:20:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27137899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinro/pseuds/Zinro
Summary: A cozy bed and warm meals, a very welcome change compared to the park bench Niles had slept on the night before. Who would have thought he'd be treated to such luxury just for flirting with the exemplar student in his class?---A short romantic comedy of a story. It's very sweet, but touches on topics of insecurity, drinking, and mentions of suggestive activities but never performed. I would have rated it T, but I don't know where the line goes and I'd rather be safe than sorry.
Relationships: Tsubaki | Subaki/Zero | Niles
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	The Perks of Living Alone vs. with Another

**Author's Note:**

> These's a whole section talking about drawings that I meant to do something with...  
> but then I didn't.  
> Otherwise I think this turned out pretty good, it makes me laugh and melt because these boys are adorb!  
> Hope that ya'll enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Niles had always expected he would end up living alone. No one to complain if he didn't do the dishes, no one to yell if he wore his dirty shoes inside, no one telling him when to run his errands.

Heavenly as it was to indulge in his filthy mess of an apartment filled with freedom, there was a hell to pay for it. Lonely nights with no one to talk to, no warm body to hold next to his, no one who would show him affection.

Because if Niles knew how to do one thing, it was to bring out the worst in people. He got up in personal spaces, shameless and bold words falling from his lips, and made whoever he had chosen as a victim as uncomfortable as he could just to see their reaction. It was fun, but only temporary. Much like alcohol it could give you a moment to relax, be idiotic and do the shit you didn't dare do sober, but in these moments you collected regrets and the morning after you despise what decisions you made.

Goodness simply wasn't meant for him. Whether he meant to give it or receive it. Many times he believed he deserved no such thing. For all the cruel things he said and did, why would he ever deserve any good? Whether that meant friendship, family or love, could he deserve any of it?

No, he didn't.

Yet he longed for exactly that. Something to turn his life upside down, someone who wouldn't take his bullshit for a second, someone who would dare to care for him, someone who would be patient enough to bear through the nightmare of a man he was. 

It was pathetic how much he thought about it. Looking around campus, licking his lips when the fantasies arose in his mind. Pinning her to a wall, swoop him into a kiss, touch on her, his touch on him…  
He didn't even know any of their names, much less what they were like, and yet he craved their affection so deeply. 

"Excuse me," 

The words swim right by him among the noise, but then the delicate and warm touch on his shoulder catches his attention. Leaning into the touch more than he should because hands were not kind to him, but this one was, almost too kind. Last time someone had touched him he had been in a fist fight and that asshole had deserved the broken nose Niles gave him. 

But this, sweet, loving touch was what he oh so longed for. The touch he didn't deserve.

"Excuse me, Niles, is it?" 

He turns his head, facing the one who was addressing him, the owner of the touch he needed in his life. 

Niles's expression turns sour, a bitter taste forming on his tongue. Of-fucking-course it had to be him. Mr Perfect, Subaki himself, the ideal student with perfect grades whom his whole college class looked up to. A man who was nothing more than a facade through and through.

He huffs and pulls on a challenging smirk, " Oh, what an honor, Mr Perfect knows my name, am I that dear to you?" 

A sigh escapes Subaki's lips and he removes his hand from Niles's shoulder. The ghost of the warmth makes Niles feel so pathetic for he already longs for it to be back. 

"I was wondering if this seat was free, but I believe I'll be better off somewhere else," 

Niles's laugh is barely more than a breath, " Are you that scared of me? What a compliment. I expected more from the ideal student of the class." 

Subaki studies him with a critical look as if Niles had a plan and if he looked hard enough he would be able to read it on him. 

All he would find was a harsh stare back.

Without warning, Subaki pulls out the chair and takes a seat in it, putting his bag next to himself and dangerously close to Niles. Truly Mr Perfect had not thought this through, because the opportunities he had granted Niles were endless, but he had to play it cool, not making any moves yet. It was too soon and he would be caught.

The lecture starts and Niles's mind wanders off somewhere else 20 minutes in. This professor was dreadfully bad at his subject. 

Even so, he could hear the scratching of a pen on paper next to him, Subaki taking a long list of notes as he listened attentively. The way he focused right ahead, the ruby red of his eyes twinkling in the sunshine from the windows. The way his long red hair in the ponytail bounced ever so slightly when Subaki looked between his paper and the professor. The gentle curls looked so soft and knowing Subaki, they would be silky soft and healthy, perfectly brushed and cared for. Much like the pale, flawless skin. Niles so badly wanted to bite into it, mark it, leave hickies, bite until he bled if only to have a taste...

"Is something the matter?" 

Subaki had caught him staring, not that Niles had been trying to hide it. Shame was rare to him, he had accepted that people would judge no matter what you did, so why should he be ashamed? Even more so, why should he care?

"Just..." Niles licked his bottom lip slowly, and then bit down on it, giving Subaki a look from top to bottom and up again, "...Daydreaming," 

"I don't believe I want to know what filthy fantasies you conjured up in your mind, do I?" 

Niles's smirk grows, "I was simply considering what those thighs could do," 

Subaki's face grows pink and he turns away with a deep inhale, "I can tell that the rumours I heard of you were true." 

"I caught your interest, exciting," Niles purrs, leaning closer to Subaki, "But beware, I bite," 

Purring out a "Meow" as he playfully mimics a cat clawing in the air in Subaki's direction.

Subaki’s blush darkens, but he pointedly refuses to look or speak to Niles anymore through the lecture. An unwise decision on his part as this gave Niles an easy opportunity to pretend to look for a book in his own bag, but in fact, he was going through Subaki's bag. What did he have to lose? His reputation was rock bottom so he might as well satisfy some of his curiosity. Learn more about who Subaki really was under that perfect facade.

It's a perfectly organized bag so he doesn't have to look hard to dismiss the majority of what's in there as uninteresting. Still, he has only so much time to work with and decides to grab a small book that happens to catch his interest. It was small enough for the whole thing to fit in his open hand. 

Bringing it to the other side of himself, away from Subaki, he opens it and decides to examine what prize he had caught. 

Drawings.  
Of their classmates, professors and other people Niles didn't recognize.  
Well-made drawings too, true to life with great proportions and excellent shading. Frustratingly good. 

He flips through the pages until… Him. There’s a drawing of himself. It had to be, it looked just like him. 

Perhaps Niles wasn't the only one letting his eyes wander in class. Perhaps Mr Perfect didn't always pay attention and drew portraits instead.

About half of the book's pages had been drawn on, the last one being an unfinished drawing but it showed potential. But that potential would be found another day, for Niles wanted to keep this book, if only for a day or two, so he could see the utter panic on Subaki's face when he realized that it was gone, and then the embarrassment when Niles would give the book back, giving Subaki the knowledge that he knew what was in there.

Later that day on his way home, Niles is looking through the drawings again, but he always lingers on the one of himself. Deep in his stomach bubbles built up in excitement when he looked at it, a hammering in his chest telling him that he was special to Subaki if he had chosen to draw him out of all the students he could choose from. He didn't care if it was a good or a bad special, simply knowing that he had caught Subaki's eye gave him hope. Hope he shouldn't have, but no matter how he tried, he couldn't kill it. 

Opening the door to his apartment, he notices the letter on the other side of the door, but as soon as it's seen, he has dismissed it again. His thoughts were occupied with smooth pale skin, delicate finger tips tracing down his body and silky soft ruby locks to twirl around his fingers. 

A shaky breath leaves him as he collapses into bed, the image feels almost real, and yet it's just a fantasy. But fuck. Out of all the people that could have led his mind in such filthy directions, it had to be him. Mr Perfect, the one man Niles could never be good enough for, or so he had thought until today.

The drawing might not mean a thing, but it gave him enough reason to allow himself to indulge in this arousing fantasy.

He keeps the book at home, not wanting Subaki to catch him with it, not yet. Instead he makes it his mission to always sit next to Subaki and provoke reactions out of him, see that perfect facade shatter, and it does, but it's only into small cracks that Subaki seals up in seconds. Niles treasures those seconds, but a part of him tells himself to stop, to take a step back and reconsider, to take this in a mature manner and maybe make those fantasies come true, but that little voice is crushed under Niles belief of never living up to Subaki's standard.

After all, Niles had no right to be picky with a lover, he would be lucky to land one at all.

But Subaki could have anyone. With a good reputation, amazing grades and a polite personality, anyone would be lucky to be chosen by him. Niles had seen the way many of the girls checked him out, stealing glances and giggling to their friends. It made his blood boil.  
It felt even worse when some guy looked at Subaki for a moment longer than he needed, shamelessly sizing him up. That made him ache, not only because it made Niles realize just how many competitors he had, but also exactly how he was acting about this all too: like a horny dog in heat.

He had to do something, get rid of this need. Stop thinking about ruby eyes and matching hair. Stop the longing of gentle touches that garbage like himself can't have.

Niles is pulled from his thoughts by a knock on the door. Strange, he never had visitors ever since he moved away from the only two friends he had.

Regret washes over him when he opens the door. The landlord. 

"Where is your rent money?" 

"Don't got it yet, you know I get paid in two weeks."

"I'm missing the rent from last month, Niles, I've sent you two reminders and you have not done a thing to reply. I want the rent money or you're going."

Rage boiled up and next thing he knew, he was kicked out. He got to keep his clothing, college books and whatever else he could fit into the two bags he had. The rest would be sold as rent compensation. Not that he owned all that was in the apartment in the first place, a lot of it had already been there when he moved in, but it hurt to part with some of it all the same. 

One moment life was going alright, and then it had been turned upside down, but not in the way he wanted. Niles had never even considered this possibility, being actually homeless… There was no way he could afford staying at a hotel, over one night or two maybe, but he needed a new place to live so badly.

Life had turned to shit and Niles knew only one medication for this: alcohol in excessive amounts...

"Ni-" 

"Niles-" 

"Niles-!" 

A groan parts from his lips and he rolls onto his other side, but whoever is waking him is not getting the hint. They shake him by the shoulder and call his name again.

"Fucking what?" Niles snaps awake turning to face the one harassing him.

Subaki.

He groans in frustration, almost amused how it's always Subaki being there, it was just so… him. To be that perfect guy who always helps out. Even now. When he was utterly unwanted.

"Why are you sleeping on a park bench?" 

Niles did not remember falling asleep on a park bench, but the whole of yesterday after 8 is a black void in his memory. Anything could have happened, even this. Sleeping with all his belongings, outside, in a park, only for Subaki to find him on his morning run. 

"To get a good view of you in those tight pants as you jog by," Niles says, letting his gaze map out every curve of Subaki, because he truly cannot sink lower than homelessness, so could he lose anything by now? Not to mention that the blush on Subaki’s face makes it all worth it. 

Subaki sighs, pulling Niles upright and making him wince in pain as the headache settles in.

"Why are you really here?" 

Niles had been about to make another sexual reference, but his words leave him when his blue gaze locks with Subaki's red one. He's concerned. There was nothing fake to it, he wasn't trying to conceal his emotion or try to appear perfect now. Just raw concern from the real Subaki.

Swallowing, Niles adverts his gaze and hisses out, "I didn't pay my fucking rent so I got kicked out." 

Subaki exhaled next to him, contemplating on what to do before he made a decision, one that Niles never would have expected. 

A hand stretched out to him, an offer, "Come, I have painkillers and a proper bed. You can't lay out here." 

"Oh, you're inviting me home? How intimate of you, showing something so personal." 

Subaki growls and pulls Niles up, the headache pounding harder in his skull, drawing a wince from him. Mind swimming in dizziness. Niles could tell Subaki was being a little rough with him on purpose, revenge perhaps? Hell, to touch starved Niles it was hot. Being manhandled, yet cared for, and that sweet, sweet touch of gentle hands, it made it all so worth it.

The apartment Subaki owns is spotless. Organized and clean, everything Niles's place had not been. 

He swiftly led to the bedroom and laid down on the bed. A double bed with fresh sheets, and in the air hangs a faint scent of camellia flowers mixed with another scent that he knows isn't perfume. An intimate scent that Niles can tell belongs to only Subaki. 

An urge rises in him, but he remains still answering any questions Subaki has about what he needs and the time it takes to provide it. A glass of water and a painkiller. 

Subaki sits at the edge of the bed, helping Niles sit up as he swallows the painkiller and downs the glass of water. Then gently sets Niles down again and pulls up the covers over him, but one question haunts him, why does Subaki care what happened to Niles? But his eyelids are heavy and the soft mattress is too welcoming to bother asking it now.

As soon as Subaki leaves, he can't help but to roll around and bury his head in the pillow to inhale large breaths of this scent. It's addictive in a way Niles hasn't experienced before. Maybe he was just addicted to the thought of Subaki. Entertaining a hopeless dream that was so near but out of reach.

He doesn’t know how long he has been asleep for, but he becomes aware of footsteps outside the door and then the slight creak of the door being opened, mild golden light spreading it’s glow over the bedroom floor and the very bottom of the bed itself. Niles groans as he stretches, turning his face to the side enough that he can see Subaki’s form between his own white strands of hair. 

“Morning,” Niles greets, sleep still heavy in his voice as he peers up at Subaki, watching his every movement as he sets a tray down on the bedside table and takes a seat next to Niles’s form. A delicate hand brushing back some of Nile’s long bangs behind his ear, clearing his vision. 

“Good morning,” Subaki is wearing an outfit more casual than Nile’s had ever seen him in before. Long sleeved sweater and some loose pants, not at all the carefully ironed button ups and tight jeans he was used to seeing Subaki in. 

“I brought you some dinner,” He nods to the tray on the bedside table, “You have been sleeping for nine hours so I figured you must want something to eat.”

“I’ve heard of breakfast in bed, but dinner in bed is new,” Niles heaves himself up a bit, rolling his shoulders as he does so.

He hears a small chuckle slip from Subaki’s lips and hates how it brings butterflies to his stomach. He has never heard Subaki laughing before, but he pointedly refuses to make that distract him as he gets ready to eat. 

Subaki takes the tray again, placing it in Niles’s lap once he’s sitting up properly. The meal he has been served is a stir-fry of noodles, chicken slices and vegetables. It smelled delicious and Niles had to know if it was just as good as it looked. There was only one problem.

"I can't eat with chopsticks," 

"Oh, my mistake," Subaki says, standing to go get Niles some cutlery. He clearly wasn't used to hosting meals for people who didn't use chopsticks if he took it for granted that they wouldn’t want cutlery. Then again, would Subaki host meals at all? He didn't seem the type who would take a moment to sit down with friends, but rather work endlessly. He had perfect grades for a reason after all.

Subaki soon returns, but still with no fork or knife and says, “I don’t have any cutlery.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously,” Subaki repeats, mild annoyance crossing him, “I recently moved out and I did not think I would need it so soon.”

No wonder it had been so clean if he had recently moved into the place, he didn’t own anything yet. Or so Niles presumed, he had yet to take a proper look at the place, but this did explain why there weren't many things around. 

“Come,” Niles waves Subaki closer and he comes, taking a seat by the edge of the bed once more. Niles offers his hand to Subaki, “Teach me how to use them.”

Subaki’s lips form a gentle smile, “Certainly.”

And so he gives the chopsticks to Niles, instructing him on how to hold the sticks, but eventually seems to realize that Niles needs a lot of help and words are not enough, and has to guide his fingers into place as to how one holds the chopsticks properly. It takes a lot of fuzzing and Niles gets more and more frustrated by how in the fuckery he was supposed to use them, even more so how to grab food like this, but eventually he had the right grip. 

He reaches down to try and grab something with the chopsticks and fails miserably. Losing his hold on one of them and it falls down from his hand. 

“This is fucking insane, who thought this was a good idea? Yeah, let’s eat with sticks that can’t hold shit,” Niles grumbles irritably. He feels so done with trying to use them. 

Subaki appears to be mildly amused by Niles’s outburst though. He takes the chopsticks into his own hands, flawlessly putting them in place with elegance that shouldn’t be possible in such a simple action. This man was just so frustratingly perfect. 

He took up some noodles with ease and held out to Niles. 

“Oh, so you’re feeding me now?”

“Niles, please, don’t make this weirder than it has to be,” Subaki pleads with him and Niles decides that he’s content enough with this to not ruin the moment with further comment. As embarrassing as it is to be fed like a child, the taste of the food and the blush on Subaki’s face made it all worth it. 

The whole thing felt strangely intimate. Sure, it didn’t leave much room for talking when he was being fed food like this and he suspected that Subaki very much was trying to keep the talking to a minimum as embarrassed as he was by it. But the two of them being this close together, one helping the other, there was some kind of connection between them that Niles couldn’t ignore. Perhaps he was the only one feeling it, but he couldn’t help but to miss it once the food had run out and all was said and done. 

Subaki takes the tray from Niles and stands up to deliver the dishes to the kitchen and clean them up. The bed felt too light without him there. The ghost of his heat still lingering on the sheets and echoes of his presence left behind. It didn’t matter how short or long this wait was going to be, it hurt to be away from Subaki. A feeling Niles was not sure how to handle, because he could be thrown out on the streets again, and yet, waiting here without doing anything to approach felt like endless torture. 

Niles swings his legs over the side of the bed, stretches out to get some blood circling before he stands up. He’s already dressed, Subaki never had undressed him more than his boots and jacket when he arrived at the apartment. 

It’s easy to locate the kitchen based on the sound of running water in a sink. 

Subaki gives him a glance and a polite smile as he approaches, but then returns to dishing the plates and what else had been on that tray. 

A thought creeps up on Niles’s mind and he can’t stop it before he has wrapped his arms around Subaki’s waist and leans his chin on his shoulders. He can feel how Subaki freezes, and sees it too. They are of very similar height, but Niles was just so slightly taller and would definitely take advantage of such a fact. 

This close he can feel the heat radiating from Subaki and through his clothes. For a second he wonders if Subaki finds this embrace to be as nice as he does, or if he is merely annoyed that Niles was getting in the way. He didn’t say a word though and soon finished up washing the last plate, setting it to dry. 

“Thank you,” Niles lets the words slip from his mouth. He doesn’t feel the need to pretend that this didn’t happen, that he isn’t thankful that Subaki was caring for him like he never could have imagined anyone would. 

Pressing a soft kiss to the small bit of skin that’s exposed in the collar of Subaki’s sweater, at the nape of the neck, “Truly.”

And like that, he lets go of Subaki once more and turns to leave. He has no reason to stay here anymore. He had sobered up and eaten the meal he was offered. As much as he loved to torment people, Subaki had been incredibly kind to him and the least Niles could do to repay it was to be on his way. Not steal up anymore of Subaki’s time. 

Subaki dries of his hands quickly and comes to the hallway where Niles is. His expression is hard to read, mouth slightly open, furrowed brows, a hand reaching out but then lowered. He takes a breath and then it's gone, his neutral expression settling into place, his perfect facade back once more.

Niles zips up his boots as he watches Subaki go through all these changes, was he not happy to have Niles leaving? 

"Well, I suppose I'm leaving then," he says, standing up and pulling on his jacket.

"Why are you leaving so soon?" 

Niles breathes out a laugh, "I slept here for nine hours, I hardly think this is soon." 

Subaki drops the subject, defeat settling in. 

Guilt wells up in Niles, but he doesn't know why and it’s frustrating to no end.

"Spill it out," Niles feels irritated. For once he was trying to be kind and it backfired instantly. Was he that huge of an asshole? Could he do nothing right? 

Subaki's gaze flickers over to him, but it's gone soon after. 

Niles sighs, "I'm not about to wait until you talk, so out with it or leave it unsaid." 

"Why not? Do you have anywhere to be?" 

No he didn't, but… 

A smirk paints Niles lips and he purrs, "Don't tell me you're going to miss me?" 

It takes less than two seconds for Subaki to cross the room and then grab the collar of Niles's jacket and yank him down enough that they are on the same eye level. He's close enough for his warm breath to fan over Niles's chin.

“As much of an asshole you are, yeah, I would miss you. Are you going to do something about it?”

Oh, now that was a challenge if Niles had ever heard one. One that brought up that hopeful feeling he had tried to kill, the fuzzy feeling he got from Subaki, the thoughts of the touch he longed for. 

“I never thought I’d see the day I’d hear you swear, Subaki,” Niles grins, one of his hands shaking as it reached out to rest on Subaki’s side. He half-expected him to move back or swat the hand away like an annoying bug, but he didn’t. Subaki let Niles’s hand rest on his waist. 

“I can do much more than swear,” Subaki’s hand freeing Niles’s collar and coming up to gently caress his cheek. 

Before it registers in his mind, he has leaned into Subaki’s touch, eyes closing briefly as he can finally enjoy that loving touch he had longed ages for. His imagination truly could never live up to the same feeling that Subaki could give him. 

“Perhaps I’ll stay and find out what more you can do,”

“It would be my pleasure,”

Their lips melt together into a soft and tender kiss. Gentler than Niles thought he would ever kiss someone. Yet it was the most perfect one he had ever had, from the most perfect man he could possibly meet.

In the end, perhaps he would not live alone. 

Even if there’s nagging about chores that has to be done and complaints about him being lazy. Even if he has to wash the dishes after every meal or cook for two. 

It’s worth it. 

Because he was living with Subaki.


End file.
